Today is the 10th anniversary of losing my left leg.
The whole experience was very traumatic for me as it is for all amputees. The operation took over 8 hours and that is including over an hour of them trying to get an epidural in and using me as a pin cushion. The doctor could not find the right spot on my spine to inject me so they had to get in two other Doctor's to help and I was repeatedly pierced with a very large needle. I could actually feel the skin being ripped open by this metal needle, I even passed out a few times due to the pain and I normally have a high pain threshold.
Finally they gave up and decided to go with a general anaesthetic instead. My lower back is now weaker and damaged because of this, I still have the ugly scars on my lower back to remind me.
This is the reason why I broke my back in 2014 because it has been weakened.
So anyway I was awake for the most part of my operation, I was scared and in pain as I could feel at certain times the surgeons taking apart my leg and I was close to tears, all I could think about was getting back to my Candy and hoping she was alright waiting for me upstairs in my hospital room.
Losing both of my legs in the way I did should never have happened in the first place and I do blame the district nurses and my GP at Stokesley Health Centre who refused to treat me and laughing at the health care plan that was given to me by the wound care nurse from James Cook Hospital, the year previously.
I admit even today I am angry at all of this and I am depressed.
I have a room inside of my head where I keep all my screaming and shouting, my tears, my anger and I keep it locked up, only to let it open at times of stress and upset.
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