EIGHT YEARS AGO

It is hard not to dwell on past events as I have a constant reminder of what happened to me eight years ago today. I was awake the whole time when I had my right leg amputated, I still felt the pain as I had my operation but I was very dozy. I do remember afterwards when I was in the recovery room I saw a male nurse come in to talk to another nurse and he was carrying a large clear bag with a bloodied leg, my leg inside it. He must have realised who I was as I started to stare at him mumbling loudly (my mouth was dry). He was quickly shooed away and I was calmed down by a nice nurse. I can't help but be sad and depressed most of the time,but it is a big part of me that is missing and I am still getting intense blinding pain from the phantom limbs. in a few weeks time it will be the "anniversary" of having my left leg amputated and all I want to do is close my eyes and hope this is only a nightmare.